I think, therefore I can

"No one can make you feel inferior besides yourself"- Eleanor Roosevelt

>> 12.16.2009

Ever since we were little, we’ve watched numerous films about Princesses and Princes. We are nurtured to learn that when we’re in distress, a man will appear and fix it all for us. It wasn’t until I was a healthy, young 20 years old that I realized Disney forgot to tell us that’s a load of crap. Where are the movies about Princesses going out and doing their own thing? Granted, Little Mermaid had a bit of that when she wanted to walk, and Beauty when she wanted to take care of the Beast. But where is the movie about how we don’t need men, they are just an accessory to life? After what felt like my millionth break-up, I was having a great conversation with a friend about why this keeps happening, how to keep trucking forward, etc. I came up with a great analogy. Take sprinkles and ice cream. Sprinkles = men (or women, I don’t hate) and ice cream = life. Some people just don’t like ice cream. I feel bad for them, I really do, but there isn’t much I can do about it. Now, some people love ice cream, but like it just by itself. Okay, I get it I guess, but sometimes I feel like you don’t know what you’re missing til you try it. There are also some people who will only eat ice cream with sprinkles, and when there aren’t any sprinkles, the ice cream tastes like shit. Or cotton candy. And then, there are those who love ice cream, and have sprinkles when it’s a special occasion. For me, I know I HAVE to get sprinkles when I go to Abbott’s Frozen Custard back home (Vanilla with Rainbow all the way). But, you will also find me loving a pint of Ben & Jerry’s sans sprinkles. I like to think that I save myself for the rainbow sprinkles, and only the rainbow sprinkles (none of that Chocolate crap).

So what happens when the ice cream melts? Do the sprinkles taste the same? Is it just as enjoyable? Or what happens when the sprinkles start to fall off? Do you panic to try and lick them all up before they fall to the ground, or do you just shrug and enjoy the ice cream? Now, I don’t think there is any sort of correlation between how you enjoy your ice cream and how you handle relationships and men, but it helped me sort through the importance and role men played in my life. Sure, everyone is different and I am sure that some people really do only eat their ice cream with sprinkles. But next time you’re evaluating, think about whether or not you NEED it. To me, my life is great without a man. But, given the right one and the right occasion, I will certainly say “yes, please!” And ladies, if your sprinkles are ruining your ice cream, please oh please just say NO THANKS! The ice cream will taste just great on its own- I promise.

Taken Lightly (Welcome)

So, blogging. Hmmm. I was talking to my friend Liz about it, and figured I should give it a shot (3^rd time around is a charm). But I wondered what I should blog about. Her thoughts: “Something inspirational”. I laughed. I mean, what does a 21 year old college student have to say to the world that is inspirational? I go to class, work part time, live pretty far away from a place I used to call “home”, have a handful of close friends, date this guy named Kevin, struggle with my personal appearance, live low on funds, and sometimes think that the world is just out to get me. As I like to say it, shit hits MY fan all the time. Then, I was thinking about something my mom said during Thanksgiving dinner. We do the very typical “Let’s all say what we are thankful for” and she said she was thankful that I take everything lightly- almost too lightly. Being an OCD type of person, I wondered what she meant about that. I thought “When someone hurts me, I cry. When someone’s life is taken away, I question what it all means (and cry again). When I can’t figure out what to do in a situation, I stress out and get not-so-cute pimples on my temples.” Then, I realized that maybe I do have a few words to share with the world.

Today I am sitting on train en route to Washington, D.C. where I will spend some time with my Aunt Liz, Uncle Dean, Cousin Rachel (1^st family), Aunt Barb, Uncle Rich, Cousin Maddie, Cousin Bridget, Cousin Zoe (2^nd family) and Grandma. This little trip will cover visiting about 1/10of my extended family. Given that all of my cousins are about 10+ years younger than I am, it always results in an interesting experience. Yet I am incredibly excited to be heading there. Here is some background: Earlier in September, my cousins and I lost our Grandfather (Grandpa Bud). He was 86 and awesome, but ready to go. About 3 weeks ago, Maddie, Bridget and Zoe lost their Grandma Marge (on the other side) after she fought a vicious battle against leukemia. Growing up, I knew I was so fortunate to have all 4 of my Grandparents alive and part of my life. This September, I cried, but was also old enough to process and turn it into motivation and pride in my family. For my younger cousins, I can hardly grasp what it feels like to have two people so special and loved taken away in such a short period of time. And for my Aunt Barb and Uncle Rich, I don’t know how they have taken care of themselves, their family and their marriage while all of this has gone on. I am not confident that in the same position, I would be able to do the same. I mean, I cried just writing about it.

Anyways, what’s so motivational or inspirational about all of this? Something I realized while I was processing what my mom said- we allow ourselves to become consumed in events that hardly matter. What matters more than life or death? I’d put family up there, maybe even the pursuit of happiness (what’s the point of living if you don’t make the most of it?). I’d say that loving who you are and what you do is incredibly important, along with loving those around you to the fullest extent. But other than that, does it really matter if you have a crappy day? Momma, maybe that’s why I seem to take everything so lightly- because that’s how we manage to duck when shit hits the fan.

Hey Mom and Dad- Thanks

>> 10.13.2009

I often joke around and state that I'm surprised my parents have survived raising me. I know it wasn't easy, but I hope they know I learned a few things from them. To start, I learned the strength of love. Thanks M&D