Sometimes I wonder who the winner would be if my head and my heart were to get into a boxing ring. I like to believe that my heart would clearly be the winner, but after thinking about it (of course) I am not so positive. A friend of mine asked me for some relationship advice last night (not sure why, because I know I certainly need some too!)and I kept wondering if she was thinking about the situation with her head, or with her heart. Granted, maybe it's with both, but there really is this continuous battle between the two.
For me, when I think with my heart, I find myself doing things my head told me not to. My heart tells me to eat the pint of Ben & Jerry's because I love it, and my head tells me to stay away because I'll regret it later.
I wonder which one knows me best. I wonder which one I should listen to. I know everyone says "oh, follow your heart!" like its really that easy, but I am just going to put it out there and say it sure as hell isn't. I usually keep my heart locked away. It makes it a little harder to listen to, but also a little harder for it to get hurt. When I think with my heart, everything is confusing and my OCD goes into overdrive because I no longer feel like I have control. When I think with my head, everything makes sense, is logistical and almost mathematic, but at the same time I most definitely do not want to be a robot. I wonder if this battle will even itself out eventually and there will be a nice balance. I wonder if it'll be easier to listen to my heart because my head won't be as obnoxious. I also wonder if it will never balance out, if there will always be this battle, and I will constantly be wondering which one I should listen to.